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They're getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them the pilots will be there soon, and the flight can take off. The Blind PilotsPassengers on a small plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The huge Aussie responds "Get the hel_l out of the Laidies you dirty bastard." "What.What is going on?" Stammers the poor pommie. Well the poor pommie turns around, in a somewhat vulnerable position, and sees this huge Aussie guy standing at the door of the pub with his still smoking gun in his hand.
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He has his pants around his ankles and is in the process of relieving himself when a gunshot rings out and a bullet smacks into the heap just beside his head. So the pommie walks over to the smaller pile, relieved that someone had the sense to start a new pile since the larger one was clearly unmanageable. So the pommie trudges outside into the rain and all he can see in the rain is two big piles of turds, one much bigger than the other. The barman gives him the worst scotch he has ever tasted but the pommie drinks it down and asks the barman where the dunny (toilet) is. So he rides his bike to the pub and when he finally gets there his appearance resembles that of a drowned rat.Īnyway, the locals hardly even look up from their beers as he walks in, dripping wet, and heads up to the bar and orders a scotch on ice. He sees a sign which says there is a pub 18 miles up the road.
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Pommie in the CrapperIn the north of Australia is a place called Queensland which is very hot, humid and the pubs are rough.Īnyway, this posh pommie bloke is traveling through Queensland in the middle of summer by bicycle and is caught in a huge tropical storm.